"WHOSOEVER"

I was born into a German family whose parents were terribly scarred by the war. From as early as I can remember the stench of evil that was known as Nazi, began morphing me into a terrifed and eventually hateful kid.

I lived to find a place that only I could rule. I thought I found it daydreaming in class. I thought I found it in the exhaustion after a long beating all over my body. Peace of knowing that this has to be the worst it will get today.

When I found drugs I signed my name: sink or swim I am diving in. In that place the only buzz kill was having to face that my freedom needed to be bought, stolen, or found. I was cool with that. I would pay any price to not be here.

As I grew older, I pushed harder into the fabric of oblivion. If it not nailed down, then I would pop, smoke, snort, eat, or shoot any and all chemicals known to open the door to Alice's 'looking glass.' From the other side I studied the world and from inside me I sealed my heart into hating a God that would force a kid to fall down the rabbit hole with Alice.

I hated the world, the God who created it, and my portion of having to live in it. I needed to find where this round peg would never fit in a square hole so I could be discarded. I cursed God, wept at life, while energized in the pursuit of madness.

My enthusiasm took me from group homes, mental hospitals, the street, and finally prison. They fixed metal doors I could touch around the cage of my soul, no one could see. I became a remote from which others could view what channel of hell to tune into. There was no need for a compass to find me. Just follow the path made by the cloven hooves that were leading me to my destruction.

Family gave up on me. Prison officials warned about me. Society pegged me as an unacceptable risk not to be tolerated. From petty theft to organized crime I was marked for death or murder. In my last robbery, I pulled the trigger four times to kill, it was my first taste of His grace.

The man lived and society pursued my permanent removal. Exhaling years of despair, clockwork masters in psychiatric prisons sought to remove the gears of hate and death that kept time in me. Professionals with polished 'shingles' that look like pedigrees for the alphabet, rubber stamped my freedom from prison. Tests were made, with I's dotted and T's crossed, they paroled me.

The anger was gone, but the hurt never left. The world could not hide the lie of itself. I hated the world. Freedom from prison paid the check for another lie. I never belonged to this world. I sought a pleasure in oblivion that would mask the finality of societies reality.

With a contract signed with God to die of drugs, a loop hole to not committing murder and going to hell, I put weight to my end of the bargain. The only clause out was if God showed Himself to me.

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." Gal 6:9.

But God tags Himself in His own words for His grace. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate. Slow to anger and Rich in love. Psalm 145:8.

I had called out to Him. That day His voice deafened the loudest roar of any ocean He created! His love covered all my sin, all my shame, all my guilt and still pouring it out on me, I became overwhelmed with it.

When I hated and hurt, I wanted to sink or swim in madness. God through Jesus Christ, drowned me in His love.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life"

Here is a riddle pleaser...I am "whosoever"!

I broke ranks with satans army, to find the pierced hands worn of love, carpenter and King could heal my broken heart.

I wanted more than anything in my whole sorry existence, to be loved by my parents. To me, their love was owning up to the pain that both barrels of abuse can blow holes in a little kids heart.

I have been leaking sorrow all my life, and no amount of dope, sex, hate, and violence was stopping up that flow of suffering. Until I met a God who came down in the flesh, just wanting to hang with us who have such heart ache, fear, anger and pain.

We did not get it though. We chumped Him bad. He took it hard. Did not say a word to stop us from doing Him. God of all creation, and He came down and took the worst beating known to man, and then let us kill him. For what? Cause He loves me, man. Cause He loves you.

He loves you and me enough to die for us.

John 15:14 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down His life for His friends." Not only is He God, Jesus in the flesh, Creator of the universe, King of Kings, but He calls me, "whosoever" friend.

Guess who has my back now...Jesus! The Rock of Ages is love for us all man.

If you have been down too long, and want to be down with peace, love, and the pain to go away, but not in a needle, not in a bottle, not in a jar, not through porno, not in a joint, and not in someone else's flesh who is hurting just like you, Talk to Jesus and tell Him how you feel.

I kid you not, He will hear you!"

Just say something like this:
"Jesus, I am sorry for the things I have done. I do not want to do them anymore.

Please forgive me. Thank-you for forgiving me. I cannot change my ways without you.

Come inside my heart, and take over my life.

Help me to turn away from all that is evil. Thank-you for dying for me. I know that you are FOREVER. Be my Saviour and King...forever! "

when your done get a bible, and read Psalm 148 outloud. Its a thank-you written by God just for us to give to Him. Then ask God to help you find a church, get baptized (if you been baptized as a kid-it don't count) , you are now Jesus's friend, and your about to meet whole lotta new friends. Enjoy the gift of God's salvation, and tell others about what Jesus did for you! Go to the New Testament and read the Book of John in the Bible. Its about Jesus's love for you and me. You'll understand.

Shalom friend,

"whosoever"